The White Rose

She was a white rose surrounded by blood red roses. She was different. So unique, so pure. She gets everyone's attention by the way she dances with the air. You can see her smile behind those white delicate petals. You can feel her love not just for everyone and but also for herself. You were watching her like she was your only paradise. She was a perfect example of beauty. She was exceptional.

And then the storm came, so furious and hopeless. You can't help yourself to notice the white rose surrounded by blood red roses. Watching her from afar was torture, what more of seeing her having a difficult time on her own and can't barely stand up for herself? She was drowning. You can feel her sadness from where you are standing, you can feel her struggling with life. You can almost taste those bullets of tears in the corner of her eyes. You knew she badly needs someone to lean on right now. Deep inside you felt something brave and undaunted. You knew the only thing she needed right now is you.

So you finally got the courage to go near her. You sat beside her and protected her from the fearless storm with your bear hand above her head forming it like an umbrella. She looked at you. She smiled widely with her eyes so beautiful you were swept away and almost forgot reality. Next thing you know, you can hear you heart beating two times faster and so loud all the red roses around you two can hear it. They fell in love by the way you look at her, they fell in love by the way she looked at you.

Days goes by. You two became inseparable. You took care of her in every way possible. You made a small house-looking garden to give her shade from too much sunlight or from frost. You were there, watching as she bloomed so beautifully among all the other roses. As her pearl white petals curls perfectly, you can feel her love for you grow stronger. You thought you felt the same way.

So one night, you looked at her with all the love you thought you were feeling just for her. She felt it, she felt it with all her heart. She knew that this day will come; she knew she needed to make a decision. She knew that you needed someone to love you. For her, you were the loneliest man she had ever met. For her, you were the most in need of love and inspiration to live life by. For her, you were a precious gift that she had ever received. For her, you are worth it. 

She then gracefully closed her eyes. She looked so beautiful. You took a big breath and then you took her, pulled her away from the healthy earth beneath her. You knew that you hurt her in some ways but you promised yourself that it will be the first and the last time you will ever be the reason of that pain she's desperately trying to ignore right now. You promised yourself that you will do everything just to make up with it and love her two times stronger than the love that she feels for you.

As you stand up - with a white rose in your hand embracing it with love - everyone around you were in awe. They thanked god they were there at that moment, witnessing two young hearts falling in love. Oh, such true love. You too were also proud of yourself that you became part of the scene. You were like the prince and she was the princess. You love her, she loves you. Sooner or later, you two will build your own castle full of love and happiness. A world with no pain.

So as fast as you can, you made your way to the house. There, you made a new place for her to live for the rest of her life. A beautiful crystal vase full of healthy soil. She was breathing heavily, almost out of breath when you were able to put back all her roots down the handful of earth inside her whole new universe. She opened her eyes slowly and you kissed her. You whispered "I love you," she smiled with her eyes saying "I love you" back. You two were invincible.

But then as days passed by, her perfect curly pearl white petals became dirty white. Every since that day, you never failed to water her. You took care of her with all the love you can give. It was never easy. But no matter how hard you try to revive her, her beauty was no longer there. Every time she looked at you, you can feel her love grew stronger. But every time you looked at her, guilt and disgust were the things you can only feel.

You loved her. Yes, you did. But love was never enough. Love was never enough especially when you love someone that makes you hate yourself every fucking day.

And then summer came, a sunflower blooms. You looked at her, she smiled at you. You smiled back and felt something familiar. You are feeling that same feeling when you first saw the white rose. And then you looked back at the door that divides the living room from the kitchen. The wall that divides your world from the white rose's. The room that you never been able to get in for quite some time now. Then there goes guilt and digust again, came rushing into you once more.

Because you knew you were the one that killed her. You killed her with your love. You killed the white rose.